FINDING PADFOOT
by Hidden Gems
Summary: He was almost there; he knew it. So close and yet so far at the same time. He knew the spell, he knew the incantations by heart; he knew he could do it. There was one thing he did not know, though, and it was the last stage. (S-R)


**FINDING PADFOOT**

Sirius repressed a loud moan and finally sat up in his bed. What time could it be? He held out his arm towards his bedside table – almost knocking off his empty glass of water in the process – and grabbed his wand. He mumbled a barely audible "Lumos." The light coming from the tip of the wand was enough for him to see the small clock sitting on the top of the bedside table.

Four o'clock.

"Bugger…" he whispered before flinging the sheet and blanket to the side.

A shiver ran all through his body when his feet touched the ground. The stone floors of Hogwarts never were particularly warm, but it was only worse on January night… Knowing that it would take him a while to find his slippers among the mess that was under his bed, and not feeling like freezing his hands and knees as well as his feet, the latter tried to pretend that his feet were not already starting to feel numb and walked towards the bathroom.

Less than two minutes later, he walked back into the dormitory, feeling unfortunately very much awake. As he crossed the circular room, he noticed the unmistakable soft breathing coming from Peter's bed and heard James muttering several indistinct words. He smiled, ready to bet with anyone that James was dreaming about Lily Evans, who still had not given in and accepted to go out with him.

But just before he reached his bed – ready to jump under the blanket and twist the sheets around his feet to make them warm again – he noticed something he was not expecting. The curtains of Remus' bed were open, and Remus was not in it. _Funny_, Sirius thought before sitting on his bed and bringing his knees up so his feet finally rested on the soft and warm mattress. He remained in that position for a little while, but somehow could not bring himself to lying down again. The truth was, he was wondering where his friend was, and what he was doing, up at four o'clock on a Saturday morning. Even Quidditch players never got up so early! He tried to ignore that nagging feeling and slipped back between the sheets. Yes, that was the exact place where he belonged; the warmth of his bed, up in Gryffindor Tower. He moved the pillow so that it was no longer perfectly parallel to the headboard, lay on his side and brought the sheet and blanket up to his chin, in what had always been his favourite sleeping position. Oh yes, there was no better place to be when it was so cold.

But where was Remus…?

He could not stop himself from thinking about it. Even when he squeezed his eyes shut, pressed his hand on his ear, hid his head under the blanket, or whatever he could think of, that question kept coming up. Again and again. Maybe Remus had got up right after he had, and found the bathroom door locked so he had gone to another one. Yes, that seemed like quite a good and likely explanation. But then, why had he not waited for a few minutes until Sirius had finished and come out? Was he that desperate that he would rather walk around frozen corridors than wait in his warm bed? Sirius lay on his back and decided to wait for a few minutes until Remus had come back.

But he did not and so, after sighing and silently cursing his friend, Sirius flung the blanket to the side once more, crawled towards the end of his bed, opened his trunk as silently as he could, grabbed a pair of socks and a jumper, put them on, found his shoes and silently exited the dormitory. Yawning and scratching his head, he slowly walked down the stairs and before he had reached the bottom, he saw Remus sitting on one of the sofas. Not their usual one by the fireplace, but one to the side of it, turned towards the windows, so that all Sirius could really see was the back of Remus' head. And that head looked completely still, so he thought for a second that the other boy was asleep, and considered creeping back up to the dormitory himself. But just then, he heard the noise of a page being turned, indicating that Remus was indeed not asleep.

Not knowing what to say or do that would not make Remus jump several feet in the air, he softly whispered, "Hey, Remus…" once he had reached the bottom of the stairs.

Remus did not jump. He slowly turned his face towards his friend – he could have recognised that voice among a million others – and smiled.

"I'm sorry. I knew that I would eventually wake up someone. I should have come down here right away instead of hoping I wouldn't make too much noise."

"Oh no, I didn't hear you… The truth is that I quite desperately needed the toilet," Sirius replied with a grin, "and you know what it's like in this kind of weather… If you have to get out of your warm bed and stand bare-foot on the frozen stone floor because you can't find your slippers, then that's it, you can't go back to sleep. Well, that's how it works for me anyway."

"I don't need to know all the details of your highly interesting night life, Sirius…" said Remus with a chuckle. "But anyway, thank you for not making me feel too guilty."

"I hope you don't!" Sirius added as he walked towards his friend and jumped on the sofa next to him. "The Pee Fairy's the one to blame."

"Sirius!"

Remus burst into a silent laughter – or rather as silent as possible – and then leaned back against the sofa, closing his eyes for a few seconds and letting out a loud sigh.

"So anyway, what were you reading, uh?"

Remus opened his eyes again and carefully grabbed the book he had placed on the seat next to him when he had heard Sirius going down the stairs. He placed it on his lap, looked for a particular page and left it open for Sirius to see.

_Monsters and Highly Dangerous Magical Creatures – Chapter Seven: Werewolves_

Sirius suddenly fell still and silent. His eyes briefly lingered on the two pages displayed before his eyes, before travelling up towards Remus' face. And there, what he saw caused his stomach to lurch in a horrible way. Remus was staring at the book and the expression on his face betrayed utter pain, as well as something that resembled disgust. Disgust towards himself. But when he turned his head and looked at Sirius again, any trace of it had suddenly disappeared and he spoke in an almost jovial voice.

"Fascinating, really! I don't know why I have been so reluctant to have a look at it before. It starts with a few long paragraphs describing how werewolves came to be in the first place; the horrible things they have done through the ages – with drawings, just in case you're too thick to picture it yourself – then the various ways they've been hunted; as well as the most effective ways to kill them – with drawings once again – and I even saw—"

He stopped there because Sirius had suddenly grabbed the book and thrown it to the other side of the Common Room. He stared at his friend with an air of absolute disbelief on his face.

"Why do you do this, Remus? Why are you doing this to yourself?"

Remus sighed and looked down, at his lap where the book had laid a few seconds before. He sighed again and stood up before walking towards the nearest window. He leaned against the windowsill, sighed for the third time and spoke so low that Sirius had to concentrate hard to make out every word.

"It's not me… It's Her," he said, looking up again and staring at the moon.

Sirius felt his stomach lurching again, mechanically got up and walked towards his friend.

"She's got this weird influence on me a few days before…before I transform. My brain doesn't seem to function the same, and at times it even feels as though I've already lost control and…and _it _has taken over…"

Sirius' eyes did not leave his friend's face for a single second, and the more he looked the worst he felt. He desperately wanted to say or do something that would make Remus feel better, but to be perfectly honest, what could he do?

"Look at Her," Remus added. "Teasing me. Showing me Her face as She becomes fuller every night. Just a few days before She's completely full again; before I have to be locked away for the night and then transported to the Hospital Wing, unconscious and covered with bruises that I inflict to myself…"

"Remus…"

"I don't want to do this anymore, Sirius," said Remus as he turned his face towards his friends, and in the moonlight, Sirius saw that they were full of tears. "I'm so tired…"

Then, as though he had suddenly remembered that it was almost etiquette for a boy never to cry – and surely not in front of another boy – he turned around again and quickly wiped the tears off his cheeks.

"I'm sorry, I'm pathetic… I'll be alright soon."

"Remus, you know that we…we could try to —"

"NO! Sirius, we've already talked about it. I cannot ask you to do this!" said Remus as he grabbed his friend's hands. "James, Peter and you are already trying so hard to help me, but we have to face it, we're too young for this kind of magic… And I wouldn't let anyone human come near me during those nights!"

"But we're almost there! We can do it, Remus! We will do it!"

Remus looked down and sighed again. "None of you can master this spell. I should never have let you try."

"Remus, listen to me!" Sirius suddenly said, grabbing the other boy by the shoulders. "I'm almost there. I haven't told James or Peter, but I've mastered the spell, all right? Now all I have to do is to…to find what I am. And I know it won't take long. And then I can help them, and once the three of us can transform, it will be all right! It _will_ be, Remus!"

But somehow, he could see that Remus did not fully believe him.

"If anyone knew... If anyone found out what you're trying to do, you'd all be expelled. Me too I imagine, but then I should never have been able to come here in the first place…"

"Don't say that! I know you don't mean it and I don't want to hear it again. Remus, you need to have faith in us; we'll do it…"

"I…I know you will," Remus murmured. "I just don't know how long I can carry on doing this on my own." He freed himself from Sirius' grip and sat down on the sofa again, hiding his face in his hands. "Go back to bed, Sirius, I'm not in the mood for talking…"

Sirius walked towards him and sat down by his side.

"Because you think that after this discussion, I can just go back to bed and fall asleep while I know that you're down here feeling so miserable?"

"Please…"

Remus stared at him with such an imploring look on his face that Sirius felt the familiar lurch in his stomach and thus had to give in. He sighed, shook his head and got up.

"If you change your mind, just light your wand by my curtains, OK?"

"Yeah, I will. Thank you, Sirius."

"You're welcome."

Feeling significantly more miserable than he had when he had forced himself out of bed, Sirius walked back to the dormitory. Of course, Remus did not come to see him, nor did he come back to his bed at all. And Sirius knew it for a fact, because he had not gone back to sleep either.

----------

The following Tuesday night, the four boys hurried up after their last lesson and quickly went back to Gryffindor Tower; it was nearly time for Remus to go. It was even more horrible in the winter because the days were so short and he had to leave them around five, without even having dinner with them. Sirius did not stay with him the way he often did while Remus was packing clean clothes that he would leave in the Hospital Wing for the following day. He had not really spoken to Remus for the last three days and he hated himself for not being able to break this invisible barrier and pretend that their conversation had not actually happened. Remus seemed to be just fine doing so, but on second thoughts, Remus _had_ to pretend that certain things did not happen…

When he came back down to the Common Room, he smiled feebly at his friends.

"Right, how long have I got?"

"Just a couple of minutes," said Peter after checking the clock.

They heard a faint knock coming from the portrait of the Fat Lady and the smile on Remus' face disappeared.

"OK. I'll erm…see you later, guys…" he said as he walked towards the portrait.

"See you, Remus," James and Peter replied at the same time.

Sirius did not say anything. He just looked at his friend as he opened the portrait. Madam Pomfrey was waiting for him. She smiled at Remus and Sirius knew that his friend must have smiled back, even though it was the last thing he wanted to do. When the portrait swung shut again, Sirius clenched both his fists and closed his eyes for a second.

"Right guys, can we go and have dinner? I need to catch that Hufflepuff guy who borrowed my essay. He said that he'd be waiting for me at five…"

"You can go and make sure you get your essay back," said James. "Save us two seats; we'll be right with you."

"Alright guys!"

Once Peter had climbed out of the portrait, James turned towards Sirius. "So, what's up with you?"

"What?"

"Sirius, do you really think that after five years, I can't tell when something's bothering you?" James asked with a smile.

"Nothing's bothering me!"

"Yeah, right! Look, you're not the quiet type, and yet you've been strangely silent for the last couple of days. What's up?"

"I'm…thinking, that's all. Nothing wrong with that, right?"

"Nope. But I was just hoping that you would share what's bothering you, or what you're thinking about, with me."

"You're too busy thinking about Miss Evans these days," Sirius replied in a reproachful tone.

"I see… So that's what it is? Me trying to get Lily to go out with me?"

"Of course not! I don't care about her! I'm bothered about Remus…" he admitted with a sigh.

James frowned. "What's wrong?"

"James, did you look at him just before he went? He looked as though he'd rather face all the dangerous creatures we've studied in the last four years than be locked in that house and transform…"

"But, it's…I mean, he always feels like that."

"It's getting worse."

"How do you know?"

"You weren't there on Saturday morning…" Sirius replied as he lowered his head.

He felt guilty because he knew that there had been a silent mutual understanding between him and Remus not to tell anyone about their conversation, but he felt like he had to share it with James. So he told him everything that had happened that night. He even mentioned the tears in Remus' eyes – which caused him to stop for a second and bite the inside of his cheek – because he knew that James was not the kind of person who would tell anyone.

"Oh man! I never knew… I mean, I thought he was coping better now."

"Well, Remus is quite good at pretending everything's OK and not letting people know what's really going on. It's a miracle he opened up to me like that…" He paused for a second and then looked at his friend straight in the eyes. "James, you know what this means."

"I'm afraid I'm not following you…" James replied with a frown.

"We have to hurry. He needs our help!"

James looked down and chuckled. "Look, it's not exactly as though we're not making plenty of efforts already! We're only fifteen, Sirius! We knew when we decided to try that it would take time; that it might not even work…"

"It HAS to work!" Sirius retorted, slamming his fist on the armrest of the sofa.

"Look, getting impatient like this will not lead us anywhere. Besides, you seem to forget that it's not just you and me; there's Peter too… You know as well as I do that we might have been quicker if he had not been there, but as a matter of fact, he is, and we have to do with it."

Sirius felt like saying something about Peter that he knew he would regret so he kept his mouth shut. But James knew too well what his friend was thinking.

"As I said, being impatient won't get you anywhere. Make yourself useful and try to help Peter a bit more. Now come on, I'm starving!"

"I'm not hungry…" said Sirius, slumping a bit more on the sofa.

James rolled his eyes. "None of that with me, Sirius. I won't wait for you for long, so you'd better get your arse off this sofa pretty quickly if you don't want to be left here on your own and then go to bed with an empty stomach."

Sirius smiled. "Yes, _Mom_," he said as he got up.

"Don't compare me to your mother, thank you very much!" said James, looking offended.

"No, you're right, I'm sorry… The comparison wasn't right. She never actually tells me that kind of thing and screams at me most of the time, anyway…"

The smile on James' face disappeared in a split second and he silently cursed Sirius for always saying things like that; things that left him feeling very awkward because he did not know what to reply. He shrugged, rolled his eyes and followed Sirius down the stairs towards the Great Hall where Peter was eagerly waiting for them before he could start eating.

_That's what friends are really like_, Sirius thought as he watched Peter serving food on his plate only once they had sat down by his side. _Real friends would do almost anything for the people who matter to them, even if it's not always easy or good for them…_

----------

It was late, very late, maybe about two in the morning. James and Peter had now been in bed for a while and Sirius knew that by now they were both fast asleep. He did not have to worry about them discovering that he had not actually been in bed for the whole time. The sheets and blanket were still tucked in and he was sitting on them, cross-legged, his hands resting on his knees. His eyes were shut but he was not sleeping, and his furrowed brow betrayed the state of deep concentration he was in.

He was almost there; he knew it. So close and yet so far at the same time. He knew the spell, he knew the incantations by heart; he knew he could do it. There was one thing he did not know, though, and it was the last stage. He still could not grab the shape he was to take... Various ones kept appearing in his mind, following one another at a tremendous rate, but he could never clearly see any of them.

He let out a sigh of frustration and opened his eyes again. What was he doing wrong? He had all the instructions by now and he was following them religiously, but it still was in vain. He felt so frustrated that he wanted to grab something and throw it to the other side of the dormitory, towards Remus' empty bed. He had promised the other boy that he would do it and he had felt like jumping at James' throat when the latter had said that maybe it would never work. It had to… It was as simple as that and they did _not_ have a choice!

Maybe he was trying too hard – if there indeed was such a thing as trying too hard… He shifted his position because his legs now felt completely numb, stretched his back, took a deep breath and closed his eyes again. He mentally repeated the incantations once more and opened his mind to any kind of sign. After many minutes of silent concentration, he thought about the reasons why he was trying to do this.

What did he want?

_I want to transform._

Why did he want to transform?

_I want to help Remus._

How could transforming help Remus?

_Humans can't come near him, but maybe animals do. So I need to become and Animagus. I need to try._

What kind of animal could be useful in this situation?

_I don't know! I can't seem to visualise what I could be… All I know is that I want to be something that will be able to get near him if possible; something that maybe could keep him under control. Above all, I want him to stop hurting himself. I don't want him to be alone anymore during the full moon I…I need to turn into something that can help him. I don't care what it is; I just want to help him…_

Sirius suddenly gasped and opened his eyes as he fell backwards and lay on his bed. He had seen something; this time he had indeed seen something! Four legs, dark fur, of a rather impressive size… Would he turn into a wolf as well?

He sat up again, grabbed his wand and headed down to the Common Room. The fire was out but he lit up some candles and placed them on a nearby table. Then he sat on his favourite sofa and closed his eyes again. He needed to see that beast again.

This time it was a lot quicker. After only a few minutes, the image appeared again in his mind, behind his closed eyelids. He could see it almost perfectly now. He focused as hard as he could on that image and, without realising it, even held out his arms, as thought he wanted to grab it and make sure it would not go away. Then, gradually, he felt as though his body was changing. He could not point out what was happening exactly, but he could definitely feel a change. After a while, he felt his legs shrinking; soon he could not touch the floor anymore. His feet were shrinking too, so that his shoes dropped on the carpet. It was a slow process, but he soon realised that his clothes were feeling too tight in places and he heard them rip. He wanted to open his eyes and see for himself, but something was telling him not to, so he kept them shut and concentrated on his vision. Then, the image changed into something similar to a sudden flash of white light, which blinded him – even though his eyes were shut – and next thing he knew, he had slipped from the sofa and hit the floor.

He opened his eyes slowly and looked around him. Everything looked the same, but he was suddenly overcome by the smell coming from the fireplace. True, the Common Room was always filled with that smell of burning log-fire, even when it was actually out, but right now, it seemed so strong. Then there were the candles. The nearby sofa too, as well as the carpet on the floor. And his clothes, on which he was lying… He leapt up and lost his sense of balance when he did not stand up on his two feet, but on four legs…

He had done it! He had transformed! But what he had transformed in, he was not so sure. There were no mirrors in the Common Room and he did not feel like going back to the dormitory. Then he saw the reflection of the candles in one of the windows. He got up again and walked towards the nearest one. The light coming from the candles was rather weak, but it still allowed him to see what he had become.

A dog. A rather large, black dog; just like that of his vision! He looked down and saw the furry paws and the sharp claws. Looking back as far as he could, he saw his body, his hind legs and his tail. He could not believe what he was seeing. He had turned into a dog right in the middle of the Gryffindor Common Room! He, a fifteen-year old student, had become an Animagus in the middle of a castle where he was surrounded by teachers! He started to laugh but soon realised that it had turned into a bark so he shut his mouth as quickly as he could, hoping that no one had heard him.

He stood still for about a minute, thinking about what to do next. Wouldn't it be fun to jump on James' bed and start licking his face? It surely was tempting, but what if said James started shouting and the whole of Gryffindor Tower rushed to their dormitory as soon as they could, thus uncovering his secret and exposing him to a very likely expulsion from Hogwarts…? He could not risk it. But then, how could he think about sleeping when he had finally succeeded?

Of course, there was _one_ thing he could do, and when that particular thought came into his mind, he could think of nothing else anymore. Using his paws and then his nose, he pushed his clothes and wand under the sofa and then headed towards the portrait of the Fat Lady. But as he was about to swing it open – with great difficulty considering the fact that he could not grab its side with his paws – he thought that if the Fat Lady saw a big black dog coming out of the Common Room, she would start screaming and raise the alarm. What was he going to do…? He smiled inwardly and closed his eyes for a second.

"What do you think you're doing?" the voice of the Fat Lady resonated about a minute later. When Sirius turned towards her, she blushed and covered her eyes with one of her hands. "Sirius Black! What are you doing _naked_ outside of your dormitory?!"

"Well, you see, my dear," he replied with a wicked smile on his face as he stepped closer to the painting, "I wanted to go to the toilet but someone's in the bathroom, so I came out here to go to another one. You see, I'm quite desperate…"

"I suppose that taking your clothes off has indeed wasted some of your precious time!"

"Actually," he answered as he lowered his head but sent her his wildest look, accompanied by a killer smile – the one that had made so many girls close to fainting – "I like sleeping in the nude…"

"Get away from me!" she shrieked as she retreated to the furthest corner of her canvas.

Sirius threw her another killer smile and turned around, forcing himself very hard not to burst into laughter. As he walked away from her, he fervently rubbed his arms and his chest, for his whole body was now covered in goosebumps. Once he had turned into a corridor – and he chose one where there were no paintings to see him – he sat on the floor, trying to ignore the stinging feeling on his skin caused by the cold stones, closed his eyes and transformed again. It seemed very easy to change from human into dog and back again and he wondered for a moment if it was normal to find it that easy. But then his mind focused on his goal again and he knew that he had no time to lose.

The main problem was, how was he going to get out of the castle without being seen opening the front doors? Plus, he would not be able to do so as a dog, and Merlin knew what would happen to him if a Prefect or anyone else found him in the Entrance Hall, naked, trying to get out. The only solution he could think of was to get into one of the very few classrooms located on the ground floor, change back into a human, open a window and then climb out of it. He would also have to remember to leave it open so he could climb back into the room. It all seemed very easy when he thought about it, but it proved to be a totally different story once he was actually trying to do it. The ground floor was not actually level with the grounds outside and he thanked whoever was looking after him that he did not break a leg when he landed on the grass with a loud thud. When he stood up again and looked at the window from which he had jumped, he thought with a loud sigh that he would have to climb on the stonewall and make sure that he would not scratch his naked skin too much against it. He knew in advance that it was going to be a very uncomfortable part…

But presently he turned around and faced his goal: the Whomping Willow. No other student would have dared getting as close as he did, but Remus had described to them several times how he got into the secret passageway that led him into the Shrieking Shack. Sirius looked around for a broken branch and was only too glad that the light coming from the moon was so bright, because he found one almost immediately. Remembering what his friend had told him in great details – although he had of course forbidden them from ever thinking about joining him during those nights – he looked for the knot on which he had to press. Lying on the ground to avoid the swinging branches of the tree, he held out his arm and quite easily touched it, making the tree freeze in a second. Two seconds later, he had crawled and reached the earthy bottom of a very low tunnel. He removed the branch and put it very carefully somewhere on the ground so he would be able to use it again on his way back.

He turned into a dog again – which took longer than the time before because he was feeling nervous about what he was going to do – followed the tunnel where he had never been allowed; he finally pushed a trap door open before carefully stepping into the Shrieking Shack. Remus had always objected to take them into the house when they went to Hogsmeade so he first had a look around him. Everything was so dark and so old… Suddenly, he heard something that made his blood freeze in his veins; the most powerful but horrible cry he had ever heard. Anyone would have said that it belonged to a beast mortally wounded, or something of the kind. But he knew better. It was Remus, somewhere above him, who was desperately fighting a hopeless battle against himself.

He did not think for a second but started running around, looking for the stairs. When he found them, he ran up – literally four by four – and only stopped once he had come on the landing. His sense of smell being much more developed than when he was human, he knew immediately that the werewolf was in one of the rooms on his left. He walked along the corridor, carefully pushing open all the doors he came across. Then finally, he stood before one that was locked, and he could hear the beast behind it. Without a second thought, he reared up on his hind legs and opened the door. At first, he saw nothing because the room was too dark. But his dog eyes quickly accustomed themselves to the obscurity and then he saw Remus…

Or was it him…? For the past few years, Sirius had always thought that during the transformation, the werewolf must somehow retain something of Remus, but he was proven wrong. There was nothing left of Remus once the wolf had taken over. Now he understood why the other boy was so tortured. What was in front of him was a true beast; all traces of the kind fifteen-year old boy had disappeared. The wolf had not seen him yet and when he watched closer, Sirius saw that it was too busy growling, rolling around on the floor, its body twisting around in a frantic way as it attacked itself with its paws, scratching the skin and slashing it open in various places. Had he been human, he knew that his stomach would have given a terrible lurch, and he felt the equivalent as a dog. Thinking about the fact that, deep down, it was Remus who would pay the price for those wounds in the morning, he suddenly barked.

It had the effect he had expected and the wolf stopped scratching itself. But when it turned around and lay its great big yellow eyes on Sirius, the latter felt his bravery weakening for the fist time of his life. For a second or two, he seriously considered turning around, running back to the castle as fast as he could and giving up the idea of coming near the wolf ever again. Nothing could tame what was standing in front of him and letting out such powerful growls. And surely not him, no matter how big a dog he was. He was no match against the enormous wolf now staring at him, growling and showing him its huge sabre-like teeth. But then, a flash of memory suddenly sprung to his mind and he saw Remus' face from the previous Saturday night, when the other boy had looked at him with tears in his eyes. And he remembered that those horrible yellow eyes locked on him truly were golden, warm and kind.

Sirius felt a warm sensation spreading in his stomach and he knew what he had to do. What he had thought earlier on rang in his mind again; _Real friends would do almost anything for the people who matter to them, even if it's not always easy or good for them…_

He gave a great big bark and suddenly leapt forward.

----------

"Sirius! Wake up, you lazy cow! You're really going to be late now!"

James' voice finally woke him up and he opened his eyes at once.

"James?" he called.

"Who else? Of course it's me!" said the other boy from behind the curtains. "Listen, Peter and I have had time to get ready and you've been in bed all the time! You have to get up _now_. Otherwise you won't have any time to have breakfast!"

"Alright, alright, I'm coming…"

"We're ready so we'll have a quick breakfast and then pop up to the Hospital Wing to check on Remus. You'll go and visit him later, OK? See you in class."

"Yeah right… See you later, guys."

He only started moving once he had heard them stepping out and closing the door. But as he attempted to sit up, a horrible stinging feeling all over his back quickly reminded him of the previous night. He let out a cry and gasped but managed to get up, and when he looked at his sheets, he saw what he had been dreading; they were covered with blood where his back had been. So he knew that his pyjama shirt must have been in the same state, or even worse…

Ten minutes later, he had managed to somehow wash himself without having a shower – he could not even bear the idea of water running down his back – and get dressed, which had proved to be very hard with such a sore back. Now he knew what it was like for Remus and he only wished he had thought about trying to do something about his wounds before he had gone back to bed… He carried his bag in his arms for once and headed towards the Great Hall, where he had a quick breakfast before going to the dungeon for his Potions lesson.

After the awfully dull morning lessons, he rushed towards the Great Hall with his two friends to have lunch. He had only had time to swallow two slices of toast and a cold cup of tea for breakfast and was starving. He piled food on his plate as soon as it appeared from the kitchens and started eating right away since he was the one to check on Remus before their next lesson. They always did that; go to see him several times a day. Usually they did it all together, but if one of them happened not to make it, then they would 'share' the visits during the day and go again together in the evening after dinner. So it was his turn, and he felt both happy to see his friend again and afraid of facing him after what had happened. He desperately wanted to confess everything to James, but unfortunately never managed to get him on his own in the morning. So he set off for the Hospital Wing less than ten minutes later, still eating his second slice of pie.

When he got to the familiar double wooden doors, ready to frantically knock on them, he stopped his hand in mid-air… What was he going to say to Remus? Despite the fact that he had not listened to a single word that had been said by the teachers this morning, he had not come up with an explanation. What was troubling him most was the fact that Remus had often told them that he did not remember anything from the full moon nights, and Sirius could not bear lying to his friend. Well, it would not technically be lying, but more like … avoiding the truth in a way… Yes, that was good, avoiding the truth.

Suddenly, the door opened and he came face to face with Madam Pomfrey. He jumped back and gasped.

"Good morning to you too, Mr. Black!" she said with a smile. "Remus and I were wondering when you might arrive. James and Peter told me this morning that you would be coming round at lunchtime. Now you know the rules, don't you? I should be back in about forty-five minutes, and if I see that you have been making him get up and do silly things, I swear that I will —"

"Break all the bones in my body and take as long as you can to re-grow them, I know…" said Sirius with a faint smile. He knew she did not mean any of it.

"Very well. He's asleep at the moment. Look after him," she added before stepping out.

He was now in the Hospital Wing, facing the rows of beds on each side of the room, and he saw the curtains drawn around the usual one, closest to Madam Pomfrey's small desk. He stretched his back but winced with pain and started walking towards the curtains. That was always the moment he hated most; opening them and discovering what state Remus was in. His hand stopped in mid-air again and he clenched his fist for a second before daring to open the curtains. But what he saw brought an instant smile on his face. Remus was lying on his back, his right arm resting on his chest, his face turned towards Sirius; there were traces of a feeble smile still stretching his lips. There did not seem to be too many cuts and bruises on the bits of skin that Sirius could see, and he did not fail to notice it.

_So maybe it has worked…_

Silently, he walked around the bed and sat down on his usual chair, waiting for Remus to wake up. He carefully opened his school bag and got out a small paper one almost bursting with treats that the three friends had bought in advance for Remus. Somehow – and Sirius still could not understand it – Madam Pomfrey never wanted them to give him the bag in the morning, but then it was all right for him to stuff his face with chocolate all afternoon long… He put the small bag on the table next to the bed, sighed and looked at his friend.

Remus looked so peaceful right now, with the innocent smile lingering on his lips. There were no traces left of the horrible monster that took over once a month; nothing but the bruises that covered the fifteen-year old boy's body. For a second, images of the previous night suddenly filled his mind and he looked away, unable to bear the fact that the monster he had been face to face with had really been Remus. When he looked again, he was surprised to see that the golden gaze of his friend was upon him.

An honest smile stretched Remus' lips. "Hey."

"Hey," Sirius replied. "Did I wake you up?"

"Kind of. My sleep wasn't too deep anyway. Have you been here for long?"

"Nope. About five minutes,"

"I was a bit surprised not to see you this morning," said Remus as he readjusted his pillows and slowly sat up, trying not to wince too much. "What happened to you?"

"Overslept!"

"You overslept? But that's not something Sirius Black does… You're usually the first one up. Oh hang on," he immediately added, "Sirius, don't tell me that you were —"

"Nope!" the other boy interrupted. He knew all too well what he was about to hear.

Remus sent him one of his most incredulous looks but did not say anything.

"So, erm…how are you feeling today?" Sirius finally dared to ask.

"I know it's hard to believe, but I feel much better than I usually do. Poppy noticed it too; I don't have that many bad bruises. Don't get me wrong, I still have loads, but I swear I don't have so many really bad ones. They're the ones that take the longest to heal so she reckons I could be out of here before the end of the week!"

Remus was almost beaming, and so was Sirius. His heart swelled with pride at the thought that he had helped his friend; this time he had really helped him. But Remus had suddenly gone silent and was staring at an invisible spot on his blanket, his brow furrowed.

"Are you alright?"

"Oh yes, sorry… It's just, I seem to remember that— Nah, nothing! I probably imagined it."

Sirius brought his chair closer. "What do you remember? I thought you never remembered anything."

"I know, so did I. But yesterday night, I had the feeling I wasn't alone in the house… I know it sounds crazy, but there was someone, or something, with me…"

"Can you remember who, or what, it was?" Sirius asked, anxious.

"No, not really… I was aware of a presence. It can't have been human because I would have killed it, and I know Dumbledore would have talked to me this morning if that had been the case. It must have been an animal then. I know it's completely mad, but the sound of something like a bark keeps ringing in my ears…"

Both boys looked at each other in silence for a moment, Sirius trying hard to remember how to breathe.

Then Remus looked around and said, "Did Poppy say for how long she'd be gone?"

"Erm, about forty-five minutes I think…"

"And she probably also told you not to let me get up…"

"True."

"But she'll never know!" Remus said before flinging the sheets and blanket towards Sirius and moving his legs towards the other side of the bed.

"What are you doing?"

"I want to go for a little walk. I do feel much better and my legs are a bit fidgety."

"But she said —"

"She probably said she didn't want _you_ to make me get up, didn't she? But I'm doing it of my own will!"

Sirius watched his friend slowly standing on his two feet and smiled, but Remus tottered and in less than two seconds, Sirius was by his side, grabbing hold of his left arm. "Watch out!" he said as he helped Remus steady himself again. "See what she meant?"

"It's nothing; I've just been lying down for too long. It always does that."

"Never to the point of nearly falling!"

"Sirius, don't worry!" Remus said with a smile. "I'm alright. I'm not going to run to the Quidditch pitch and back; I just want to stretch my legs a bit. I'm afraid I'll have to ask you if you can lend me your arm for support."

"Remus, I really don't think this is a good idea."

"Since when do you follow rules, Sirius? Come on, I'm not doing anything bad! I just want to _stretch my legs_; it's hardly a crime!"

"Alright then, come one," said Sirius has he held out his arm for Remus to hold. "Where do you want to go first?"

"I just want to go round the room."

Slowly and carefully, Sirius led Remus around the room. They first headed towards the double doors that led out of the Hospital Wing, and Remus could also support himself with the rails from the beds on his left. He was walking very slowly and it obviously caused him lots of pain, but he put on a brave face for Sirius. After all, no one had forced him; he had been the one who wanted to go for a walk. But when they reached the other side of the room, he had to give up and sat on a chair between two beds, by a window. Sirius sat down on the bed, facing him.

"Maybe next time you'll listen to her…" he said with a cheeky smile.

"I'm fine! She always looks after me like I'm a baby. I'm just tired and I've got bruises, that's all. I'm not nearly dead or anything!"

Sirius noticed that his friend's tone had changed. "No need to get angry, Remus…"

"I know, but everybody seems to think I'm an invalid," the other boy said as he got up again and looked out the window. Sirius thought that Remus did so too often these days.

He got up as well. "You know that _we_ don't think you are."

"You're probably the only ones. Each and every time, they all act as if I wasn't going to make it. I've lived with this for several years now, and I always wake up, wishing I hadn't and it finally was all over…"

"You can't say that!"

"I know, it's selfish, but I can't help it… You, James and Peter are probably all that keeps me going…"

At that very moment, more than ever, Sirius felt like revealing his secret to Remus. But then he thought that the other boy might not entirely share his point of view, and the last thing Sirius wanted was to have an argument, so he kept it to himself.

"You'll be alright," he said in a whisper. "And I won't let anyone think you're an invalid."

For a second or two, the two boys stared at each other in silence, drowning in each other's eyes. Then Remus smiled and removed his arm from the windowsill, aiming at the bed on which his friend had been sitting a minute before, but his legs gave way and had Sirius taken more than a split second to react, he would have collapsed on the floor. As it was, Sirius did grab hold of Remus in time, while the only thing the latter managed to hold on to was his friend's forearms.

Sirius winced with pain but he did not let Remus see it. "Are you alright, Remus? Sit here," he said as he slowly led his friend towards the bed.

Remus did not remove his left hand from Sirius' arm until he was steady and could sit on the bed, but when he eventually did, he did not fail to notice that Sirius winced. The truth was that the pain had now become excruciating and that Sirius was fighting tears really hard by biting the inside of his cheeks.

"Sirius, you alright?"

"Yeah, course," he replied in the most casual tone he could manage. The skin on his arm was now burning atrociously but he knew that touching it would only make it worse.

"No you're not. What's wrong with your arm?"

"Nothing."

"Let me see."

"No," Sirius retorted, trying to move his arm away from Remus' reach.

"See, there is something wrong, otherwise you would already have showed me."

He grabbed his friend's arm, rolled the jumper sleeve up, unbuttoned the shirt's cuff and proceeded to roll it up too. But before long, he saw what was wrong.

"How on earth did you do that? What happened to you?"

"Nothing," Sirius replied, looking away. "I just…I hurt myself against a stone wall…" he added, even thought he knew perfectly well that he sounded less than persuasive.

Remus let his fingers linger on the bruise and examined it closer. "That's weird, if you look at it from this angle, it almost looks like —"

_A bite-mark…_

He never finished that sentence and gasped. As though it was something dangerous, he suddenly let go of Sirius' arm and stared at him incredulously. It could not be, it was impossible. He was going mad, he needed to rest, he was imagining things.

"Sirius…" he whispered.

Sirius stared back at him and sighed as he let his shoulders drop. He had always imagined that Remus would be over the moon – well, talk about an ironic expression… – after learning that he had finally managed to become an Animagus. But as it was, the circumstances were miles away from what he had imagined. He could not bear to see the look on his friend's face so he got up again and looked out of the window, mimicking what Remus had done so often lately.

"Sirius, talk to me! You have to talk to me!"

"I don't have anything to say…"

"So it…it _was_ you… I didn't invent it; there was someone with me. _You_ were with me! And I…" He did not finish his sentence and closed his eyes. When he spoke again, his voice sounded very different, almost sad. "I have to see Dumbledore. I have to tell him. It was part of the deal…"

"What?" said Sirius as he suddenly turned around. "What are you talking about?"

Remus stood up again, supporting himself on the bed and when he spoke, there was a clear hint of panic in his voice. "You don't understand… The very thing I hoped would never happen did happen last night! I _hurt_ someone; I hurt _you_! Dumbledore said I could stay at Hogwarts as long as I could be kept under control and now —"

"Remus, listen to me!" said Sirius as he walked towards his friend and held him by the shoulders, "It was nothing; Dumbledore doesn't need to know!"

"Yes he does, because he trusts me and I have to be honest! All this is _your_ fault! I told you never to come; I told you to forget all about the Animagus thing; I can't be kept under control! It's _your_ fault, Sirius!" he said bitterly, "I was doing fine on my own once a month, but you had to come as well and then I attacked you and now I'm —"

"Remus, listen to me! You didn't attack me!"

"What do you mean, I _didn't_ attack you? What's that on your arm, then? I attacked you as soon as you came next to me, I know it and —"

Sirius closed his eyes for a second and swallowed hard. Then he tightened his grip on Remus' shoulders. "Remus, you _didn't_ attack me. _I_ attacked you…"

But Remus was not listening anymore. The only thing he could think about was what he had just said. Suddenly, he gasped and stared at his friend, his jaw looking as though it might drop all the way to the floor.

"What?"

"I hurt you. I…I bit you… Sirius, you have been _bitten_ by a werewolf!" he said almost hysterically. "It means that you're one too…" he added in a whisper.

All colour vanished from Remus' face and Sirius feared for a second or two that the other boy might faint. But when he thought about it, what Remus had just said was true. He should have been turned into a werewolf. But he obviously had not, because he had not noticed anything strange, and he knew that victims of werewolves instantly felt the consequences of the bites.

_Unless…_

"No I'm not," he quickly said, grabbing Remus' shoulder again. "Remus you haven't turned me into a werewolf."

"But I bit you!"

"I know, but it didn't work because…because I wasn't human when you did."

The words reached Remus in less than a second and the pounding in his heart became unbearable. He felt as though his legs were going to give way again but he held on to the bed harder than ever.

"You…managed to do it?"

Sirius could only nod.

Remus gasped again and covered his mouth with his hand.

"But it still doesn't make sense, what you said about _you_ attacking me… I mean, I have bruises, but I always do, because I do that myself. But yours… You didn't do that, did you? And whatever animal you changed into, it can't have been bigger than me… What animal are you, by the way?"

"I'm a dog," said Sirius as he looked down. "So yes, I'm smaller than you, but I promise that _I_ was the one who started it. You didn't—" He had to stop. It felt so wrong to use 'you' when referring to the wolf… "You didn't see me at first. I walked into the room and there you were, rolling around on the floor, hurting yourself like you always do and all. And I mean, I thought that I…that maybe I could— Oh, forget it," he said with a sigh of frustration when he realised that the words would not come out easily.

Remus stared at his friend for a few seconds and finally touched his arm. "You thought what?"

Sirius looked away, sighed and then dared to look at Remus again. "I thought that if I attacked you and made you focus on retaliating, then maybe it would stop you from hurting yourself so much," he replied slowly.

Remus' eyes grew wide and he opened his mouth to gasp, but no sound whatsoever came out.

Sirius bit his bottom lip and smiled. "I suppose it worked, in a way, didn't it?"

Remus' heart skipped a beat and he felt tears coming up but he did his best to fight them back. "Oh, Sirius…" was all he managed to whisper.

He walked even closer to Sirius, his golden eyes not leaving the blue ones on which they were locked. His heart was pounding in his chest and he only stopped when he could not get any closer. He was now so close that when he looked up, he was looking directly into Sirius' eyes. He could tell that the other boy was as nervous as he was at that very moment, because he was slightly panting. Not even trying to resist what was pushing him, Remus gradually stretched his neck, until his lips found Sirius', on which he planted a quick but tender kiss.

After the two delicious seconds during which it lasted, reality smacked him hard in the face and when he stepped back, he looked utterly horrified. Out of the two, he looked as though _he_ had been the one who had received a kiss from one of his best friends, not the one who had initiated it. While Sirius looked somehow confused, Remus simply looked horror-struck, as thought he had just done the most horrible thing you could possibly imagine.

When he realised what state his friend was in, Sirius cleared his throat. "Remus," he said calmly.

"I'm so sorry!" Remus almost shrieked. "Oh, Sirius, forgive me, I don't know what happened to me… Please don't tell anyone and…and please don't hate me, Sirius. I —"

Sirius grabbed him by the shoulders again. "Remus, calm down! You've done nothing wrong. I…I just want to know why you did it."

"But I don't know why! Oh Sirius, I'm so sorry," he kept repeating.

"No need to apologise."

Remus frowned. "Yes I need to! For Merlin's sake, Sirius, I…I kissed you! Oh I don't know what happened," he moaned as he hid his face in his hands. "I just…I didn't know what to say or do to thank you for what you had just said, and what you did last night. And also it…it —"

"Felt right…?"

Remus looked up again, utter surprise written all over his face. "Yes."

Sirius smiled at him; a calm and comforting smile.

"You're not mad at me?" he asked in a whisper, and Sirius shook his head.

The look of surprise and incredulity on Remus' face would have made anyone burst into laughter, but Sirius understood the depth of the situation.

"I don't suppose you'd want to do it again, would you?" he dared to ask with an eyebrow raised.

Remus felt an explosion of joy in his stomach and was only too happy to do what he had been asked. Timidly, he stepped closer to Sirius again and repeated the same gestures, until their lips touched.

Time froze then, the seconds halting with a dull abruptness, framing the picture of that first shared kiss, for the boys to remember it later on, when the times would be dark and their hopes would be crushed. Their bodies as immobile as statues, a shy beam of sunlight slithering between their brushing lips in a dusty caress; their hands suspended in mid-air, reaching out but yet unsure.

One breath, two breaths, and the wheel of Time clunked back into motion, Remus' and Sirius' bodies bending down ever so slightly, as if caught by gravity again, mouths meeting in a desperate crash.

Sirius' hand was the first to move, rising to blindly meet Remus' soft cheek, his fingertips bumping against it, then circling the soft flesh, comparing it with the roughness of the cotton covering Remus' hip.

A pair of arms slid around Sirius' waist and pressed him closer, his chest colliding against Remus' and reminding him abruptly that he was kissing a boy. There were no soft mounds of flesh against his flat breasts, only similar hardness and strength. It was a little unsettling, but it wasn't bad. Just different. Just like the kiss was different, more passionate, less supple, and Remus' hold on him wasn't like the soft shy embrace of Sirius' girlfriends, it was the strong grip of a fifteen-year-old boy, forgetting for an instant how tired and sore his muscles were.

Spending those seconds in darkness suddenly seemed absurd to Sirius and his eyelids fluttered open, dark blue eyes gazing down at soft flushed skin, and the golden lashes laid down on it, the borders of the thin, quivering curtain of Remus' closed eyes. Looking wasn't enough and Sirius' lips sought that skin, eager to drink up its warmth. His mouth gently crept up to Remus' temple and he inhaled the musky scent of his hair, realizing in a jolting heartbeat that this, those entrancing smells, that silky skin, those warm moist lips, had been in front of him for almost five years, within reach, and he had wasted all this time falling in love with girls.

Remus sighed and tilted his head up, a shy, slightly clammy palm meeting the nape of Sirius' neck, fingers brushing the short hair and pressing down in an unspoken attempt at diverting Sirius' mouth back to sweeter lands. Sirius smiled and gladly met Remus' lips again, shivering when Remus' tongue boldly coaxed his inside, mouth opening under his like a flower.

They both had trodden these trails before, but it all felt brand new, sparks shooting down their spines, revolving in their stomachs at every touch, every smell. There was warmth, and sweetness from the pumpkin juice Sirius had drank for lunch, and it quickly overrode the bitterness of Remus' potions, Sirius' tongue made sure of it, stroking Remus' forcefully, tickling his palate and tracing the uneven lines of his teeth.

It was not gentle, but they both knew that this roughness was not cruel; it was just hungry. Hungry for more skin to touch, more flesh to taste, more moans to drink up and pour out. Sirius pressed his hips against Remus' middle and the latter almost collapsed on the bed, hands shooting around Sirius' waist to grip his jumper for support, nails breaking through the clothing to scratch the skin of Sirius' back as he struggled to keep standing, to keep Sirius' tongue in his mouth, to keep the moment going on until school and beasts and moons would not matter anymore because Sirius was there.

But no softness, no caress could have blinded Sirius' body to the white-hot pain that shot through him when Remus' fingers dug into the raw skin of his back. He yanked his mouth away from Remus', afraid to bite Remus' tongue off, and winced, sinking his teeth in his lip to keep the pained moan inside.

Remus' world fell back in place with a dull thump and his eyes widened, hands immediately flying away from Sirius' back, up to his cheek, fingertips laying a shy, frightened caress on the flushed flesh.

"I'm so sorry…" he said, still panting from the kiss, and doing his best to stand on his legs as Sirius backed off. "Did I … did I do that on your back as well…?"

"Yes, you did… No! It wasn't you, Remus."

"All the same; it was the werewolf, wasn't it?"

"Yes."

"What have you used to clean the wounds?" Remus asked with a frown, concerned.

"Nothing… I had nothing and I couldn't —"

"You mean you didn't even bathe them or anything?"

Sirius shook his head. "It's impossible to clean your own back. And anyway, I can barely stand the contact of my cotton shirt…"

Remus sighed and rolled his eyes. "I'll have to do it for you then."

"What? But Madam P—"

"I know, so we have to be quick. I can't let you go without doing anything. Take me back to my bed; I have a special unguent that I can put on your wounds…"

Sirius obeyed and helped Remus walk up to his bed. Then he did as he was told and closed the curtains around the bed again, shielding them from anyone who might enter.

"Now what?"

"Take off your shirt and stand in front of me," Remus replied. He was too busy looking for the unguent to realise what he had just said.

"Hang on, Remus," said Sirius with a grin. "Don't you think you're rushing things a bit? After all, we just kissed…" He placed his hands on his hips and sent Remus one of his killer looks.

"What are you— Oh right, I get it! Very funny, Sirius… If you feel like joking, please do so, but let me get everything ready," he added as he placed a large bowl full of water on his bedside table. "Fervefacio!" he said as he dipped the tip of his wand into the water, and two seconds later, it was boiling hot. "Now _please_, take your clothes off and show me your back."

"All my clothes?"

"Sirius!"

"Alright, alright…"

Pained by every single movement he had to make, it took Sirius about two minutes to take his cloak, jumper and shirt off. When he finally turned around, Remus gasped.

"Is it that bad? I didn't have the heart to have a look in the mirror this morning…"

"I think you should have. Maybe it would have made you realise that it needed healing right away…" Remus swallowed hard. "Right, I'll have to wash the wounds with that hot water first, and then apply the unguent. Erm, Sirius, I'm afraid it's going to hurt quite a bit, so hold on to something and try not to make too much noise…"

"What are you saying; that I'm soft? You must be joking! I'm a Black and Blacks don't—– Argh!"

"See… _And_, I'm being very gentle."

During the few minutes during which Remus slowly bathed the wounds, the only noises that could be heard were the other "Argh!", "Ouch!" and "Oh, Merlin!" coming out of Sirius' mouth despite his clenched teeth. When he had finished, Remus dried his hand on a towel, and a second later, he was caressing Sirius' stomach.

"Erm, Remus? What are you doing?"

"Just making sure my hands are not too cold to apply the unguent," Remus replied very seriously.

Sirius smiled and turned around. "Yes, I'm sure that's the real reason…"

"No, it _is_!" said Remus with a cheeky smile. Then he added, "OK, I have to admit that your skin displayed before me like this was quite…tempting as well, but the main reason was because my hands —"

Before he could finish his sentence, Sirius had framed his face and planted a kiss on his lips. Remus moaned and the kiss quickly deepened again. Before he knew it, his head was already spinning and he felt like totally abandoning himself to Sirius again, but a little voice called him back to reality and he withdrew his lips.

"Sirius," he whispered against the other boy's lips, "we have to carry on… You'll feel much better with the unguent, and we wouldn't want Poppy to see us like…like this…"

Reluctantly and with a loud sigh of frustration, Sirius backed off and turned his back to Remus again. The feeling given by Remus' hands applying the unguent and running up and down his entire back was miles away from the pain that the hot water had first caused. The balm – which heavily smelt of plants – rapidly made his wounded skin feel healed and warm again. He knew in the end that Remus was massaging his back more than he needed to, but something about it made Sirius feel good and he did not ask his friend to stop. He let out a groan of frustration when Remus did stop and told him to put his clothes back on.

"I knew you were enjoying it…"

"Ha! You can talk!"

Remus blushed. Then he looked up at the big clock above Madam Pomfrey's desk and realised that they only had about ten minutes left. It was cruelly ironic how quickly Time could go when you wanted it to last forever.

"You'll have to be off soon," he said with a frown. "And I'd better get back into bed…"

He carefully stood up again, got rid of his slippers and climbed back between the sheets. Once he was comfortably resting against his pillows, they looked at each other rather awkwardly and stayed silent for a few seconds. Then Remus sighed.

"I'm sorry for everything, Sirius…"

Sirius frowned. "You mean, _everything_…?"

"Yes, I— No! No, I meant the bruises and the fact that we had to…to stop and tend them and all. Oh no, no I'm not sorry for kissing you," he added, a smile stretching his lips.

Sirius sat on the edge of the bed, facing him and smiled. It was the same calm and comforting smile that he had given Remus just after their first kiss.

"I'm glad to hear that."

"Sirius," said Remus as he took his friend's hand in his, "What about James and Peter? They'll have to know about everything sooner or later. I know it's not something we can easily talk about, but they're our friends, our best friends; we won't be able to keep it from then for too long."

Sirius slightly frowned. "I suppose we'll have to tell them if this thing lasts."

"Do you want it to last?"

Sirius bent towards Remus. "I have said this to many…girls before, but I admit I never meant it, not to a single one of them. Call me a bastard, I don't care. With you, however," he added as he gently moved a lock of dirty blond hair away from Remus' face, "it's totally different. I've kissed you only three times and I feel like I couldn't get enough, even if it was for a whole lifetime. So yes, I do want this to last…"

Remus smiled and sighed at the same time. Before long, he had sat up straight and their lips were locked again, their hands careful not to touch any sore parts of their bodies.

"That's four times now," said Remus when he withdrew his lips.

Suddenly they heard the door opening and one frustrated glance at the clock told Remus that Madam Pomfrey had come back earlier than expected.

"Sirius Black," they heard her calling, "you have to go to your lesson now! Let him rest; he'll still be here when you come back tonight!"

Sirius rolled his eyes and sighed, but he smiled at her when she walked past Remus' bed, opened the curtains and went straight to her desk.

"I was about to go!" he added in a very jovial tone. Then he turned towards Remus again and whispered. "One thing, though… I agree about telling James and Peter about this whenever you want, but there's one thing I don't want them to know."

"What's that?"

"Please, let the fact that I can transform be a secret for a little while…" he said as he held Remus' hand. "I'll pretend that I'm still trying and I'll help them as much as I can, but I don't want them to know. And so, I'll be with you again next month, looking after you, just you and me… Do you agree?"

Remus looked puzzled for a while then crossed his arms over his chest. "On two conditions."

"Which ones?" Sirius asked greedily.

"First, you take this," said Remus has he grabbed the tube of unguent, "and you hide it somewhere. That's if I hurt you again. And then, you promise me that you won't try to attack me so much anymore."

"But the whole idea was to —"

"I know what your idea was, and I know it worked. But look at you; I don't want you to pay such a price. The fact is that I heal a lot faster than you do, and if you have too many bruises, James and Peter will know that you're hiding something. Plus, who knows, maybe part of me will remember that it's you…"

"But Remus —"

"Sirius! It's that, or I tell them about you…"

Sirius sighed and smiled. "OK then, I'll have it," he said as he took the tube from Remus' hand and hid it at the bottom of his bag. Then suddenly, he looked over to his left and saw that Madam Pomfrey was busy and out of sight, so he sat closer to Remus and held him close. "It will better from now on, I promise. I'll always be here to look after you," he said as he ran his hand through Remus' hair. He framed the other boy's face in his hands and planted a tender kiss on his lips.

"You'd better go now," Remus replied, blushing. "We don't want any trouble… Plus, you'll end up being late for the Transfiguration lesson."

Sirius quickly planted another kiss on his lips and jumped off the bed. "Goodbye for now, Madam Pomfrey. I will be back after dinner!" he said over his shoulders.

And as he walked towards the double doors, he thought for a second that he had never actually been waiting for the next month with so much eagerness.

FINITE INCANTATUM


End file.
